Ever played - Hide N Seek ? How is it when your turn comes to search?
The time when you close your eyes and think whom would I get first ? The thoughts who is that I can get hold of ? The racing heart beats what if somebody hits the tree and I have to take my chance again ?
What if they play a prank on me and just go home and I keep searching all day long...
And its even more enticing on the other end - You got to hide yourself and also make sure that you want the opponent to take his chance again.
You make sure you are hidden from those thoughts - that they never should ever appear in you. And like a lightning effect - they came to seek you again - you ran, tried to hide yourself again and failed and they won - with a cunning smile - telling you "I will get hold of you every time"
Its the same feeling - You thought you have outgrown out of it - You diverted your mind towards a million other things or people - started your favourite hobby classes,started meeting new people, pushed yourself to improve your personality, dumped yourself in tons of work - focussed on moving ON...
All of a sudden - in between all the midst and chaos of moving on with the new things in life - your heart has a pain - you close your eyes and all you can see is his face, his eyes, his smile - his looks - no matter how bad things turned you still remember that first look when your eyes met - how many million dreams you just had flowing in your heart.
You still take his name and sleep - you still in between the random thoughts of yours - can see his thought in between your brain cells -
You try to bring up hatred in yourself for him - you try to think all the negative thoughts about him - and you LOSE - coz he is still inside you - he never went - Your brain focussed on the million other things you treated it to - but your heart wanted nothing of those...
You still make efforts to stop those tears running all the way down to your cheeks and lips - and at the end , you feel you failed again to overcome him.
How many times were you truely happy and at peace with the other replaced things or people ? Even once - I can bet not even half a time.
It is like the hide n seek game - First you try to find the right person - you wish you get hold of him immediately so that you don't have the pressure of finding other people and once you get hold of the person - you hide yourself from him - from being sought.
Time to Hide, to be sought or just QUIT ?
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