Peaceful Chaos

Where do I fit you in the present ? We do not have a future, so I choose to live in the past and recreate my own peaceful chaos. ​

Unsaid

|| सुइयाँ भी इतनी न चुभी, जितनी तेरी खामोशी ||

For the love of unsaid conversations

2021

I asked you how is 2020, just to tell you how mine is. 

You haven't replied yet, so, I have been writing everything under February, hoping you will read it before 2021. 

9-5

How is it that people think going 9-5 is productive and sitting and thinking about you from 9-5 is not ? 
How do they not know that I feel the most alive in the latter ?
How do I not know that I shouldn't care what they think ?

Touched

Never knew, perfumes have the ability to take you back to memories of touch. 

How do I undo the scent and touch ?

Silver lining

May be, you din't use all the colors from the crayon box, 

Did you choose to leave the silver, as your paper was white, 

Did you ever think, you could have chosen a black paper for me, and I would have shined right through it, to create a silver lining for you ?

बवाल

|| थोड़ा तो बवाल मचा रखा  है, इश्क़ है या मौसम, किसे पता है ? || 

Decelerate

I think, out of all things in life, what you feel the most deep in your heart, is the only thing that matters. 

One step in front of another, clear goals and visions, meticulously thought out plans, some days - decisions made in a hurry, some days - attracting negative vibes, some days - thinking why is everything perfect ? Why are you so afraid that things will go wrong ? 

Our minds are magnets said they! And, yes, they are - how do you keep going when everything is perfect ? And, that is why there is a stumble, a stone, a rock, a puddle, a river, an ocean, because how do you go on when everything is perfect ? Ever wondered ? What do you look forward to ? Yes, the goal, but also the journey that takes you there.. 

                                  If it is easy, will you go that route? 

And, so, here it is, the stone in your path, you were looking ahead towards your goal - which is what is expected. Some days, you need to look at the ground, there is a lot going on there too. 

                             And, if you forget to do so, I will remind you - said, Life

Breathe, this is not the whole story, it is the chapter - like always, a No is always better than a yes. 

Like always, I ask - why is this a no and here I will wait for the best to happen, because based on the countless incidents in my life, a NO has always been better. 

If you are reading this and have found a No, please question about it and wait patiently because you will find an answer - sooner or later. 

Stop, lay down and curl up, you were going too fast, so here is the time - slow down, what is the hurry ? 

इतनी भी जल्दी क्यों है जनाब, जाना किधर है? 

थोड़ा सा महसूस तुम भी कर लो, जाना किधर है?

मंज़िल तो आखिर एक ही है सबकी, थोड़ा सफर का भी मज़ा ले लो 

थोड़ा आज भटक कर देख लो, ऐसी भी क्या ख्वाइश की हो सुब मुकमल, इतनी भी जल्दी क्यों है जनाब, जाना कीधर है ?

थोड़ा आज सुकून ही पि लो, कल फिर आएगा ख्वाइशें लिए, इतनी भी जल्दी क्या है जनाब, जाना कीधर है ?

 

असीम इश्क़

|| यह इश्क़ ला-महदूद है जनाब, ख़तम कहाँ होगा 

आज थोड़े मसरूर हो जाओ की आपके लिए है, 

कल बेरुख हो जाना, किसी और का हो जाएगा || 

टुकड़ा टुकड़ा प्यार

| | कहाँ  से लाते हो टुकड़े टुकड़े का प्यार यूँही फुर्सत से 

आज जाते हुए बता ही दो कहाँ कहाँ बटांकर आये थे  | |  

Forbidden fruits

Come to a blank space, spit some words, laced with emotions, in dark or starry snowy nights, there are wild dreams of forbidden fruits, not one, but fruits, so many forbidden fruits, find a favorite, savor, devour, engulf into a deep melancholy, there is a void, silence is terrifying and yet words don't succor, that green tree outside my window, has lost all its leaves in winter - will that stop the birds ?
               It is their home, it will always be. If they have hope, why don't we ?
They talk about forever and always, but, they also talk about constant change and how it fades away.
                  Do you think, you know what does not fade and remains forever?
                                  Can you be my forever, always and unfazed ?
                                                   Let's be forbidden.

The Unfinished Cheesecake

​After, what seems like a million years, today, I have some gut-wrenching feelings I once had. The stomach churns up within itself, I smile, I desire, I fathom that thoughts can be controlled but feelings cannot! I envisage myself to be beautiful and you being aggressively in love with me. Are you around? Who are you ? Why did I see you in my dream yesterday ? We haven’t talked, haven’t had the connection ever and why do I see you ? Seeing you doesn’t bother me, what bothers me is Why do I feel you ? You have never touched me and yet how mystical it is, that I can feel you ? Why do I feel that when we kiss, if we would have ever kissed, it will be or it would have been the best feeling in the world? Damn, is it the thrill ? The path which is less taken or not taken at all, what is it that makes my world go round and round ?

What is this ? My brain cells fail to comprehend so many things and this is one of them. Too many questions, no outcome, but here I am, smiling away, is that all that matters? Who are you ?

Not that, I am unhappy in any way but do you feel I am missing on something and you are here to fill it up ? Damn, That feeling when you are about to give an exam and nothing else matters at that point, that is how this feels. What is it ? 

There is no name and then at the end of the day, I question why should there be a name, a purpose, a result, to everything in life. How about leaving something incomplete, unfinished, that you can come back again and again to savor it ? 

It is like the cheesecake, you have had a fulfilling dinner yet, when cheesecake comes in, everything around you stops, you look at it, you try to control it, but, you are way too tempted to not touch it, you take a bite, and you want one more, you never want to finish it, yet you want to own it. 

Who are you ? The cheesecake ? 

Are you the temptation that sticks around for a while and then vanishes like smoke in the air ? Or, where you always around, but hiding away and I just figured out? 

Who are you ? Until, we figure it out, you are the cheesecake. I will savor you, may be, leaving you incomplete and sit here and contemplate if I feel incomplete without you ? 

I may sit here and contemplate, if I ever have to feel complete ? 

Why do we have to finish things off. Let you be the unfinished Cheesecake, atleast for a while.