Darkness

She closed her eyes.She wanted to withdraw herself from the thoughts. It din't work. 

You close your eyes so that you cannot see the world, in a process of thinking, that no one is watching you. 

She was at a cross-road. She took two steps ahead and stopped. She looked at the left direction, thinking - would this direction work? 

She stopped and moved back. She turned back...and walked that way - Stopped again thinking - Why would I go back again ?

There is only one way - the Right direction. She turned to the right and started walking there. 

She had no goals, no aims left. She just walked. 
Everyday,she did walk.Though she had no plans,she continued walking. 

Everyday she had the same thoughts - What to do, where to go, whom to talk, whom to trust ? She was just herself.

She choose to trust, to have faith - that - for one god damn time - she will have a good time in life. 

She will have a chance to shower some love around. All she wanted was love - and spread Love.

But life wanted to give her something else - always and forever - DARKNESS.

She waited, waited patiently. 

But there was darkness, she wanted to open her eyes to see light - but all she could feel was dampness and darkness. 

They said she would have someone right for her soon. "Soon" - did "Soon" just change its definition ?

The people around her felt she was arrogant and had attitude - Deep down, she knew - it was not true.

She had layers around her - which she thought would keep the unwanted people away from her. 

It took time for her to realize, that, that what made her look mysterious - that was what created the DARKNESS.

                           A voice called her again - She tried to ignore it again.

Rain-Drops

              There is a connection between you and the rain.

                     

                        Unexpected and Immense Bliss.

 

She cuddled herself in the blanket, let loose her random thoughts, dream and dream hearing the Pitter-Patter of the rain - feeling complete, even though everything is missing - she is at peace - Loving the sound of sprinkling drops all over - the frogs croaking - the sound of the wind.

 

                               Reminds her of you.

 

She wakes up with the noise of the raindrops, wishes to sleep those extra ten minutes before she is ready to rock the world. She dreams about the best things in the world with that background noise and feels bliss - smiles and thanks the heavens for the beautiful things around her.

 

Though, everything she wanted is not around her - she is blessed that she does not have those things which she never wanted.  

She pushes herself out of the bed - because it's time to prove herself again.

               

                A new day - new sunshine - same thoughts.

                              

"How do I still make Myself better and beautiful ?" A voice said - "I will".

 

She smiled.Looked into the mirror - opened her dark brown eyes.

Her Eyes had a real sparkle and anyone could just go deep down. She was proud of them - becase they spoke to anyone who could read them.

                         

                        Scintillating and Seductive.

 

She adjusted her fringes in front of her head, tried to tie-up her hair and let them loose again. Gave a wicked smile, thinking - who's next?

 

The next second - she knew who it was - there was no NEXT. It was him still. She made herself better for him - Allthough she din't care whether she belonged to his thoughts anymore. She made sure she was perfectly dressed, the perfect face,the perfect skin and the minute details of the nail-polish.                      

 

              She din't know him well - but she knew he loved perfection.

 

He is never going to see her - never going to talk to her - They lived miles apart and still she could feel him beneath her.

 

She loved the rain-drops more than the rain. Only the lucky ones, can feel and see the rain-drops on their eyes and smile in the rain. The others are happy just by watching the rain go down on the ground.

 

           But, there is a difference between the rain and the rain-drops. 

 

Enter - You can always Love a person truely until and unless you don't know them INSIDE-OUT.You can fall in love with the RAIN-DROPS only when you can feel them - in the shadows of time, under the shades of comfort - its rain - its ordinary water.

         

             And, a BITTER truth - that rain does not belong to you.

 

 

Hide - N - Seek

Ever played - Hide N Seek ? How is it when your turn comes to search?

The time when you close your eyes and think whom would I get first ? The thoughts who is that I can get hold of ? The racing heart beats what if somebody hits the tree and I have to take my chance again ?

What if they play a prank on me and just go home and I keep searching all day long...

And its even more enticing on the other end - You got to hide yourself and also make sure that you want the opponent to take his chance again.

 

You make sure you are hidden from those thoughts - that they never should ever appear in you. And like a lightning effect - they came to seek you again - you ran, tried to hide yourself again and failed and they won - with a cunning smile - telling you "I will get hold of you every time"

 

Its the same feeling - You thought you have outgrown out of it - You diverted your mind towards a million other things or people - started your favourite hobby classes,started meeting new people, pushed yourself to improve your personality, dumped yourself in tons of work - focussed on moving ON...

All of a sudden - in between all the midst and chaos of moving on with the new things in life - your heart has a pain - you close your eyes and all you can see is his face, his eyes, his smile - his looks - no matter how bad things turned you still remember that first look when your eyes met - how many million dreams you just had flowing in your heart.

 

You still take his name and sleep - you still in between the random thoughts of yours - can see his thought in between your brain cells -

You try to bring up hatred in yourself for him - you try to think all the negative thoughts about him - and you LOSE - coz he is still inside you - he never went - Your brain focussed on the million other things you treated it to - but your heart wanted nothing of those...

You still make efforts to stop those tears running all the way down to your cheeks and lips - and at the end , you feel you failed again to overcome him.

 

How many times were you truely happy and at peace with the other replaced things or people ? Even once - I can bet not even half a time.

 

It is like the hide n seek game - First you try to find the right person - you wish you get hold of him immediately so that you don't have the pressure of finding other people and once you get hold of the person - you hide yourself from him - from being sought.

 

                                   Time to Hide, to be sought or just QUIT ?