This year marks seven years of being a mother, and you might ask what took me so long to write about being a mom. Finally, after so many years, I've come to realize that the portrayal of parenthood often bears little resemblance to the reality many of us face. The world seems to paint motherhood with broad strokes of glamour and fulfillment, presenting it as the pinnacle of a woman's life. We see images of blissful mothers in picturesque settings, with serene smiles and happy children. Yet, beneath the surface, the truth of motherhood is a mosaic of unsaid pain, sacrifices, and emotional turmoil that rarely makes it into the spotlight. Every single day, a woman doubts if she is making the right choice for her kids. Every single day, I ask myself - if what I am doing is enough for them to be better humans ?
When you become a mother, advices comes pouring in from every direction along with the most common dialogue - "This time will pass away soon, make sure you enjoy it". People tell you how amazing it will be, how fulfilling it is to raise a child. But amidst this sea of well-meaning guidance, one crucial question often goes unasked to parents: How are you feeling? How are you coping with the relentless demands, the sleepless nights, and the constant mental load that accompanies this role?
My younger child turns three this September, and while I've learned and grown as a mother, there remains an ever-present cloud of guilt that hovers over me. I question whether I am doing everything right, whether my moments of frustration with my elder child or my outbursts in front of my own family have caused harm. The constant cycle of self-doubt is exhausting, and each time I see the sadness in my children's eyes, I feel as though I have failed.
Nobody tells you about the intense emotional struggle of leaving your child at daycare, trying to appear strong and composed while your heart is breaking into a thousand pieces. The never-ending “mom, mom, mom” or “dad, dad, dad” can drain your patience and test your calmness. Did anyone mention that this unending call for attention would require a reserve of patience you didn’t know you had?
The truth is, parenthood is not just about the sweet moments of laughter and joy that we see portrayed in the media. It's about the sleepless nights, the overwhelming responsibilities, and the personal sacrifices that we often keep hidden behind a facade of strength. It’s about the internal battles we face, trying to balance our identities with the demands of raising children who depend on us entirely. The load that we are responsible on raising a whole new generation in the world of social media, gaming and peer pressures.
I wish someone had laid out the complete picture for parents from the beginning. I wish I had known that being a parent is one of the hardest, most challenging jobs we could ever choose, but it is also the most rewarding in ways that are not always immediately visible. The world runs on the energy and potential of our children, and while that knowledge is a powerful motivator, it doesn’t always make the daily grind any easier. I wish, that someone would have said loudly that I will be holding multiple emotions at a single point in time.
It is time to acknowledge the full spectrum of parenthood—the beautiful and the brutal. Let’s be honest about the struggles and support each other through the trials. Instead of glamorizing the role, let’s speak the truth about the dedication it demands and the emotional resilience it requires. By sharing these unspoken truths, we can offer a more authentic picture of what it truly means to be a parent, and perhaps, find solace in knowing that we are not alone in this challenging, but profoundly meaningful, journey.
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